Blessings

I began writing this post in June 2019.  Summer happened so it took a while to finish.  Here it is.  

Religion is full of doctrine, or specific sets of beliefs.  These doctrines help guide the followers of any group of believers.  Doctrine helps a church's parishioners decide who to love, how to love, what to despise, and most importantly, what their god would have them do.  In this post I would like to review some doctrine from the LDS church. Specifically the doctrine that can be found here.  It states that all blessings are based on keeping eternal laws, otherwise known as commandments.  

In order to have a clear understanding of that doctrine we must first understand what a blessing is.   That link references the LDS Guide to the Scriptures, a study help found in the English LDS version of the King James version of the Holy Bible.  It explains that to be blessed is to receive divine favor. A blessing is anything divine that contributes to true happiness, well-being, or prosperity.  A  commandment is a law and requirement given to mankind by God.  So basically, any divine intervention from God happens due to following a law given by God.  

This doctrine is based primarily on the verses linked to above, Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21.  These short verses read: 20 There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—

21 And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated. 

If you search the scriptures long enough you can find some specific examples of what blessing you can receive for obeying specific commandments, but for the most part it's just generalizations.  Regardless of specifics or not, you can't receive divine intervention without obeying some commandment.  Simply stated if you receive a blessing it is because you obeyed a specific law. Maybe a little you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.  

Now I would like to review some specific blessings.  Lets go simple, prosperity. Be wise with your money (talents) and you should prosper.  Obey your parents and you wont be stoned to death. Don't covet your neighbor and you wont destroy your marriage with an affair.  Don't covet your neighbor's possessions and you will probably be happy with what you have. 

Is having a child a blessing? Well, hopefully, if you have kids, you are reading this at a moment when your kids are behaving, otherwise you may think they are nothing like a blessing.  However, for the purposes of this presentation I am giving you the doctrine as presented by the church. Let's start off with the president of the church, Russel M. Nelson. Here is a screenshot and the link to a facebook status he posted in 2019. In it he clearly states that having a child is a blessing, divine intervention from god.   https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2327474183986671&id=501224873278287.

Genesis 4:1, Moses 5:16, and this talk by Neil L Andersen are all examples documenting the fact that it is a doctrine of the church that being able to "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” is a blessing.  As a person that has thus far been unable to have children Neil's talk is especially painful. At the end he does give a story about somebody that adopted a child, but that is not being fruitful, multiplying, and replenishing the earth.  It is a noble thing to do, but is not the same. You may be able to raise the child as though it were your genetic posterity, but you still have not kept that commandment to fill the earth with people. I digress.

So, having a child is a blessing.  Well, what commandment is that blessing dependent on?  Who knows? It's never stated anywhere. It has to be based on a commandment. It must be based on a commandment, an eternal law.  The doctrine of the church states that having children is a blessing. It also states that blessings are obtained from God by obeying his commandments.  Well, lets not worry about which one it is based on, the fact is that it is based on obeying a commandment.  

I graduated from seminary and institute. I didn't just graduate from institute. I had taken enough classes that I finished a four year "degree" in less than two years. I wasn't just a lackadaisical student. I read and prepared for the lessons. I loved studying anything about church, as long as it came from the church.

For the vast majority of my growing up years I obeyed my parents.  I studied my scriptures from a young age, around 8, and seriously studied them daily from age 14 on.  I read conference talks, I faithfully performed my duty as a home teacher. As a junior companion I was tasked with making sure we never missed a month, and we didn't (except for one six month period for one of the families). 

I honestly prepared for a mission. I faithfully served a full time mission. I worked hard every day. I learned to speak Spanish while serving in central Washington state.  By year two I had learned the language so well that many hispanics called me "El Mexicano" (The Mexican) or "El Mexicano Blanco" (The White Mexican). Years after coming home it was pointed out to me that I had been given the gift of tongues because I was still speaking (and still do) the language fluently.

I came home honorably at the end of the mission and didn't stop being a missionary. I was a ward missionary and then ward mission leader in my ward shortly after coming home. I frequented the temple (hard to do when working more than forty hours weekly and going to school 28 hours weekly, plus homework). I had many callings after coming home.  I fulfilled them all to the best of my ability. Up until over one year after I mentally left the church I was a full tithe payer. As a working adult I always gave far more than the value of three meals for a fast offering. As a bachelor I set a rule for myself; If I had enough money to buy a toy, of any sort, then I had enough money to donate that same amount to some fund at the church. I have never hit, yelled at, or fought with my wife.

I have kept all of the commandments that I know of. Please don't think that I think I was perfect. I wasn't, but I repented of my shortcomings anytime I found I may have not been living the way my god wanted me to live. Yet, after doing all I am capable of to follow my god's commandments, I don't have children (and may never be able to have children).  

What have I not done that other faithful worshipers of god have?  Better yet, what have I not done that child molestors have done? I know of a mormon man who, when his child was less than a year old, began molesting her.  He raped his own baby, and continued to do so until he was caught and incarcerated (over one year of abuse). Keeping this in mind, read a little bit about god knowing this would happen.  Check the Topical Guide, Bible Dictionary, study manuals, and whatever else you want for references.  God knew this man would be such an excramental piece of a human being that he would rape a child, but sent him one anyway (Does that make God an accessory to child rape?  Is he a sex offender? Another topic for another day.).    

So what commandment did this man obey that I did not.  Having a child is a blessing. There is no doctrinal doubt to that.  The blessing comes from obeying a commandment. What commandment could I possibly have missed?  Is there one about needing to be a terrible human being? Is there one about needing to kill for god, or rape for him?  What did I miss?  

Now I've spoken just about me, but I know I'm not the only one.  There are plenty of people that have been faithful devotees to god, and continue to be (unlike me), but they are denied the blessing of children (or other blessings).  Joseph Smith taught that those who are unable to have children in this life will be able to in the hereafter. Well, fine, so will those that were able to have them here.  We are still denied a blessing from God. How does he choose whom he will bless? There is no rhyme or reason to it. His ways are not our ways, his ways are mysterious. They are so mysterious that it can be shown that the dude doesn't follow his own rules.  

Don't believe me?  Read this article titled "BYU Professor Finds Playing Favorites Is Detrimental to Families" on the church website. In it the author states, using less than straightforward words, that God absolutely favors one over another.  One doesn't even have to read further than the first five books of the Bible to find that God favors one over the other. Aaron built a golden calf to worship heathen gods, but Yahweh didn't command him to be killed.  He did command that 3000 others be killed. You can read all over that god favored the Israelites over all other people. He absolutely plays favorites.  

Similar arguments exist for children whose parents die young, or when grandparents die young. An argument could be made for parents burying their only child. Consider somebody that keeps the word of wisdom and leads a healthy life, but dies of a heart attack in their 30's. Yet another similar argument could be made for children being forced to endure emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of their family or church leaders.

Now, imagine going to work, expecting to be paid $20.00 hourly, only you don't get paid.  You are told to continue to work and after you retire you will get paid. However, you are not getting paid for the past work. You will be able to have an income, a pension of sorts, but it wont be the same as the others that did get paid while working. Most of the other employees will be paid as they work, and when they retire, but not you. You will only get paid for the work you do after you "retire".

There is no reason given for the difference. You see, it's mysterious.  You are simply told to trust in the unseen management team. Most people wouldn't stand for it. They would sue the employer for not paying. They would not work for the employer any more. They would do all they can to ensure others don't use that business or apply to work there. 

This same scenario plays out in our lives with Christianity. The management team has admittedly committed genocide. They feel that the punishment for not trusting them and turning your back on them, after having trusted them for a while, should be the same punishment as for somebody that raped a child. They feel that if a man loves a man, or a woman loves a woman, and does not repent they should be tortured for 1000 years with the same type to torture that an unrepentant child rapist will be given.

As a parent god treats us all differently. This isn't the type of difference where one child learns one way, and another child learns through a different manner. This is the type of different that is preferential treatment. Ask yourself, do you really want to spend your life worshiping a god that may or may not bless you for obeying his commands? You can decide that you do want to worship that type of god. However, I have found that this type of god is not worthy of my devotion. I am happy devoting time to help people see life for what it is.

After reading all of this I hope you can see just how simple it is to prove one doctrinal fact and some results of that fact. The doctrinal fact is that blessings are predicated upon obedience to a commandment. If this is a true fact then it is also a fact that god picks and chooses for each person which commandments will result in which blessings. If this is true then, by the study performed by the churches own school God is a highly disengaged parent. I for one, don't want anything to do with a disengaged parent.

The Answer to How

Many people have recently read my story.  If you haven't please feel free to do so.  I explained a few things about my life, such as some of the health problems I've had along with what led me to leave religion.  A number of people reached out to me and asked me how I am currently doing.  Some others have also asked why I had to say anything about my departure from religion so, here goes.

In the summer of 2017 Melissa and I went on a trip to Glacier National Park.  It was a blast.  On the way back we met up with her family in Island Park, Idaho.  We spent a few days participating in various activities from Yellowstone to floating down Henry's Fork on a raft.

While there I picked up something that attached itself to my leg.  It could have been bacteria, fungus, mold, or something else.  I didn't get the chance to figure out what it was.  I used some over the counter stuff and it went away.  Then it came back.  I used more OTC stuff and it went away.  Then it came back.  I scheduled an appointment with a doctor to have it looked at.

The week before the appointment my legs started to hurt, a lot, right before I went to bed.  I woke up in the morning to a number of splotchy red dots all over my legs.    I went into the urgent care and, if you read my story you know where this is going, I had my fourth onset of Iga Vasculitis.  There was some discussion amongst the urgent care doctor and my dermatologist about how to continue and what to do.  I ended up on Prednisone again (for an immunosuppressant), though just a small dose.  By the time they started the steroid taper the damage was already done and I had some new open wounds.  Fortunately these were small and Melissa and I were able to manage the care for them.

I had moved through some positions with my employer and was now working a job that would allow me to work from home.  So I got set up to work from home and worked with my feet up for the next three months.  During that time my dermatologist tried using an Rx other than the Prednisone.  Eventually he attempted to get me off the Rx, but everytime he did I had a recurrence. The recurrences were not bad, just an indication that my immune system was still overactive.

During this time a study was being done nationwide on vasculitis in general.  They only needed 60 participants.  The study had been going on for more than four months.  They hadn't yet been able to find 60 people nationwide that met the minimum requirements of the study.  During one of the times we were trying to get me off the immunosuppressant I had another recurrence.  This recurrence was bad enough that I was able to participate in the study.  I will likely not live to see good results from the study, but where so few people go through this I hope somebody, sometime, somewhere is able to be helped from the study.  It will probably be many years before any positive results are found.

Just after participating in the study I ended up with a urinary tract infection. A cousin of mine had described the crazy pain of kidney stones, and well, I bet this was right on par with that pain. A trip to the ER at 3 am, a round of antibiotics, and all was well.  Four days after it was cleared through testing the infection came back. I went in yet again for another round of antibiotics.

UTI's are far more common in women, but I had the joy of two in less than two weeks. The cause of the infection is unknown,  but the lack of an immune system contributed to the intensity and duration.  I'll spare the details on the intensity.  Just know that it sucked.

I remained on the immunosuppressant through the rest of the 2018 summer.  Happily there was nothing else bad that happened...... well, no, that's not completely true. I was on a tube floating down the bear river near Mink Creek, Idaho. There was a water diverter that created a waterfall. You couldn't walk around it and really it was only a couple feet, more like a steep rapid. The person I was with had gone over the fall with his extended family at a reunion without incident, so we didn't think much of it.

Well as my luck would go my hat ended up at the bottom of the fall. While I was completing somersaults in the water, my head gently hitting the rocks, the friends I was with began to get worried because I didn't surface. While trying to figure out what to do and how to breathe only as my head went above water, I saw the handle of my tube directly above me.  Or, maybe I just knew it was there because I was smacking it along with the rocks. I'm not sure.  They couldn't see me because I was rotating under the tube.  I was able to grab onto my tube during a rotation and pull myself out of the never ending tumble in the waterfall.  Happily my only injuries were a few cuts, bruises, and a lost hat.  To answer your question, no, I was not wearing a PFD.

My doctor had begun reducing the immunosuppressant near the end of the summer, a little at a time.  In the early fall we went on a trip to Imperial Beach in California. I was now at a half dosage.  I had been there for about two weeks and all was well.  We visited Tijuana, the beach, some museums, and enjoyed watching the sunset and moonrise over the Pacific ocean.  We saw dolphins swimming near the beach, tidepools, and in general had a great time.  The day before we left to come home, well, those silly bumps showed up again. I went to an urgent care clinic, got some more prednisone to stop the attack, and returned home.

I only ended up with one or two open wounds that were rather small. The quick treatment prevented things from getting worse.  I had to take it easy, so I did.  In November Melissa and I were on a little staycation in Park City.  The first morning there I woke up at about 1:00 AM to use the bathroom.  Relieving myself felt a little odd, but I really didn't pay it much attention.  At 2:00 AM I woke up and knew I had another UTI, my third of the year.  While I don't wish a UTI on anybody, if you get one, get it during the daylight hours, not the middle of the night.

Melissa went to Walmart and purchased an OTC UTI drug.  Once it was morning off we went again to the urgent care.  One dip with the test strip and sure enough, I had a bacterial infection.  We got the antibiotic and went on our way.  That was Monday.  On Thursday while at work I started to not feel so well.  By early evening I really didn't feel well, my flank hurt, I was nauseas, and on the verge of fainting.  We went to the urgent care, but missed them by two minutes, so it was off to the ER.  Well, everybody else missed the urgent care too.  This is where I truly learned about the pain scale.  To me a 10 is so bad that you can't handle it.  At this point you faint.  Nine is crazy ,intense, stabbing, destructive pain, and eight is slightly below that. When they asked my pain scale I said eight.

I would later find that my eight is their nine.  Had I said nine, or had I actually blown chunks, they would have seen me sooner, but I said eight.  We arrived at the ER at 9 PM.  I was finally taken back to be seen in the ER at about 12:30 AM the next day, Friday morning.  After a few tests they determined that the UTI had turned into Pyelonephritis, a kidney infection.  They gave me an IV antibiotic and sent me on my way with some instructions.

On Monday the next week they called me back and advised that some test results were in.  The bacteria causing the infection was resistant to all oral antibiotics.  I needed to get into the ER ASAP and receive some more IV antibiotics.  This infection was an ESBL bacteria. Basically it's a superbug that may not be treatable.  I left work and went into the ER.

When I arrived at the ER I explained what I was doing there.  The admitting nurse seemed a little confused and asked me to take a seat.  I could see her face through the glass as she found the note in my chart and read it.  I saw her mouth move as she said "Oh, shit, we need to get him back there now!".  They called me back and explained that they didn't have a room for me, but could treat me on a hospital bed in the hallway.  I took it.  I thought "Why wait for a room? Treat me now, please".

While they began the infusion I was doing OK.  About five minutes into the IV I saw that the needle had worked its way out.  Blood, saline, and antibiotic were leaking about.  I was already in a fight for my life and now the IV had come out.  I began hyperventilating, my face turned white, and prior to what would have been a faint I was able to notify a nurse, request my bed be lowered, and the IV fixed.  The rest of the infusion went off without a hitch.

The doctor reviewed my health chart and wanted to admit me to the hospital, but due to the immunosuppressant decided against admitting me.  Instead I would need to go into the hospital daily for the infusion.  This would include going in on Thursday, Thanksgiving day.  I ended up spending the bulk of Thanksgiving afternoon in the ER as the Infusion Center was closed for the holiday.  After a terrifying week I would win, thanks to modern medicine, yet another staring contest with death.  I had survived three UTI's.  Just one hundred years ago people with UTI's died from the infection, pyelonephritis was basically a death sentence.

Things in my life have been fairly stable since then.  I'm still on a full dose of the immunosuppressant, I did have a cyst removed from my arm, and I've spent plenty of time caring for my parents, and my back gets a bit aggravated on a regular basis.   So, that's how the physical aspects of my life have gone.

Now, why did I have to say something about my departure from religion?  Well, I'm getting to that, but I wanted to post this information.  I'll get The Answer to Why posted as soon as I can.

The Skinny On Why I Left Religion

I realize that my 9 part post giving some detail about my exit from religion is a little long.  I decided I would attempt to give a shorter and brief account of why I left religion.  A simple way to explain why I am an Atheist is hard to come up with.  Religion was such a huge part of my life.  I spent 20 plus years worshipping the Christian god.  It didn't just take five minutes to leave it (Well, technically it took 10 seconds, but those 10 seconds were surrounded by an actual plethora of other events).  Here I'm going to attempt to make it as simple as I can.

Would you ever praise or honor a genocidist such as Stalin, Hitler, Mau, or Pol Pot?  Why or why not?   Hopefully not.  If not, why would you praise or honor any biblical entity that committed or commanded another to commit genocide?  Is it because God commanded it?  If so, then acts of genocide are not actually wrong.  Mass murder is not wrong.  It is only wrong if your deity didn't command it.  If you wouldn't honor Hitler for committing genocide then please think twice about honoring Joshua, fighting the battle at Jericho, where women and children died.  As for me (I can only speak for me, not those around me), I will not serve a lord that commands genocide.  

Is owning a slave fine?  Is slavery wrong?  Do you praise or honor slave holders?  Maybe, if you don't know that they are are were slave holders.  Otherwise you probably tend to not praise or honor slave owners.  Owning people is wrong.  Please remember that the god in the Holy Bible commanded slavery.  Jesus commanded slave ownership as Jehova, and did nothing as Jesus to stop it.  Could that all be translation errors?  Maybe, but probably not.  If you are Mormon then it actually gets worse.  

Read D&C 76:102-112.  In those verses you read about the Telestial Kingdom, a part of Heaven.  The last verse says that all people in this part of heaven will be slaves to God.  When you worship God you are worshiping a slave owner.  Please take some time to think about that.  Please ponder the morality of slave ownership and slavery.  Please ponder if you can really support the promotion of slavery. Other flavors of Christianity (or pretty much all religions) aren't much better.  

To put it simple, imagine this.  Jesus comes knocking at your door.  The scenes goes a little like this: 
Jesus:  Knock knock.
You:  Who's there?
Jesus: It's me Jesus; won't you let me in?
You:  It's dangerous times.  Why should I let you in?
Jesus:  So I can save you.
You:  From what?
Jesus:  From what I will do to you if you don't let me in.

The difference between Christianity's explanation and this one is they flower up the wording so it's not so plain, simple, and easy to understand.  Once you can see the simplicity of it the the average person can see how psychopathic and terroristic this reasoning is.  The worship of such a being is wrong.

The last point I will make is this.  Please take a moment and read a portion of a section of the D&C, a book considered scripture by the LDS church.  The link will take you to D&C 19: 15-19.  Just incase you don't want to go to the link I'm pasting the verses here.  These verses carry a warning from Jesus or God (doesn't matter which one, but in this case it's specifically Jesus) to all the earth.  

15 Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I ^asmite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your ^bsufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.

16 For behold, I, God, have ^asuffered these things for all, that they ^bmight not suffer if they would ^crepent;

17 But if they would not repent they must ^asuffer even as I;

18 Which ^asuffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might ^bnot drink the bitter cup, and shrink—

19 Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and ^afinished my preparations unto the children of men.

I am not interpreting these verses.  I am simply stating what they say.  Jesus says that if you don't do what he says by letting him into your heart that he will smite you.  He will cause you to suffer as he did, a suffering that caused him, a God, to bleed at every pore.  Consider that with the earlier section I shared from D&C 76 and the Bible Dictionary.  

Those that do not repent will be tortured by god.  They will be tortured in a way that caused a god to bleed from every pore and live through it.  They will suffer this for a THOUSAND YEARS!  But remember, God loves you!  

I suffered by bleeding through some of my pores so violently that it caused massive necrosis.  I would never wish this upon another human, even one that didn't do what I asked them to do.  This isn't Satan performing the torture.  If it were Satan he'd pop a top again, go bottoms up, and ask who wants to join in his orgy.  No, this torture is caused by your god, by your Jesus, by your savior.  And why?  Well for some, simply because they refused to open the door to him.  

That type of vengeance should not be worshipped.  It should be shunned. There is no place in humanity for worshipping a being that threatens this type of torment.  But this torment is hidden as love.  It is hidden as your fault for not opening the door to let him in.  

Well, I tried to keep this as short as I could.  I wanted to help you understand a glimpse of why I refuse to participate in religion. I hope you got something out of it.  Remember to love those around you.  Be kind.  Live kindly simply because it's that, kind, not in honor of a being hellbent on torturing the majority of humanity.   

Exclusionary Practices

I began working on this post prior to the LDS church coming out with a revised policy on temple sealings and weddings in some countries.  While I was working on the post the new policy came out so I revised the post a little.    

Life is full of important events.  For each of us they start at birth and end at death.  Some important events, to name a few, could be starting or finishing school, a first date, moving out of your parents house, getting your first job, retiring from your last job, birthdays, promotions, failures, and successes.  The important events of life vary from person to person.  For most people there are a few events that really are all cherry (or your favorite topping) on top.  They have just the right amount of sweet, sour, savory, or ambrosia on the tongue.  

For me some of these events have been birthdays, my baptism into the LDS church,  performing in concerts, participating in the school play, completing high school, going on an LDS mission, coming home from said mission, and getting married.  Some of these events were important for not just me, but for people around me.  I'm positive my parents were proud of all of those events.  I had family and friends, from young to old, immediate to extended, that have celebrated them with me.  

When I was married to my love, Melissa, we decided to get married in a temple of the LDS church.  This one was located in American Fork, Utah.  For some background in order to go to the temple you must be a member of the LDS church.  Not only must you be a member but you also must be a full tithe payer (10% of your income to the church), and express a knowledge or belief that the church is the only true church of their god, that Joseph Smith was his prophet, that the Book of Mormon is true, and a few more things as well.  You also must have already gone through the temple for yourself.  If you don't meet those requirements the most you can do is wait outside the temple for the happy couple to exit.  Melissa and I both had family in and out of state that couldn't attend the temple due to not being members, not being active in the church, or not having gone through the temple for themselves. Even though they couldn't come to the temple they still came to see us afterwards.  

For Mormons getting married in the temple isn't just a wedding (well, it is, but to believing members, it isn't), it is a sealing.  You are sealed to your spouse for not just this life, but the life after this one.  The sacredness of the temple and this sealing ceremony are some of the reasons why only certain people can be in the temple.  Being sealed in the temple is so special that it is not just normal, but recommended, to be sealed in the temple.  This means skipping the civil marriage and going straight to the temple.  To this end the church made a policy stating that if you wed civilily you cannot be sealed in the temple for a period of one year.  See Handbook 1 section 5 (the version prior to May 2019 when the policy changed).  I've provided a link to a PDF.  Just keep in mind that the church has often removed this handbook from the internet, so you may have to do a search for lds handbook 1.

In this handbook they do suggest having an additional ceremony of some sort afterwards, though this was never mentioned to me by any bishop, steak president, or marriage preparation teacher prior to my sealing.  However I was told and read things like the following from Russell M Nelson.  He stated 'The best choice is a celestial marriage. Thankfully, if a lesser choice has previously been made, a choice can now be made to upgrade it to the best choice. That requires a mighty change of heart and a permanent personal upgrade. Blessings so derived are worth all efforts made.'  See the Ensign, November 2008, 'Celestial Marriage'.

While this statement came after I was married, there were many similar statements made while I was preparing for adulthood and marriage. I remember reading this talk by a past prophet, especially the part under "Do Your Own Temple Work". It is a talk by Spencer W Kimball given in 1973.  As a young adult member of the church this meant to me that getting married civilly and waiting the year to get married was not something I could do.  It was inferior to getting sealed first in the temple.   In my mind there was no other choice.  No other options were presented to me, and I failed to think for myself (as the church often teaches you to do).  The only option I had was to be sealed in the temple. So now it came down to how many people I would be including and excluding from my wedding.  

When push came to shove, due to the above and other circumstances (that won't be discussed here), I excluded the majority of my extended family from my wedding.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, and my three remaining grandparents were all left out.  Melissa has an aunt, one of the best aunts that has ever existed, that we excluded as well, along with other extended family members.  Fortunately neither of us were put into a situation where we would have needed to exclude a parent. 

This exclusion from such an important life event has been a weight on my mind ever since.  I'm sure most of the people I excluded have never let it bother them the way it has me, but it really bothered me.  The policy from Handbook 1 also stated that the one year waiting period could be waived if one of the following conditions was met:  

1) Both the civil marriage and the temple sealing take place in countries that do not recognize a temple marriage and that require a civil marriage.
2) The couple live in a country where there is not a temple and the laws of the country do not recognize a marriage performed outside the country.
In essence, in some countries it's OK to allow a civil marriage and an immediate or near immediate temple sealing.  However, in the USA, this wasn't good enough.  I knew this before I was sealed in the temple, but didn't take any time to think about it.  

Since I left the church it has bothered me even more.  The hurt I have felt, along with any hurt I passed on to my family members, is not necessary.  I didn't think this policy would ever change.  However, they surprised me.  I'm glad that they have finally made a step in the correct direction.   Now in places like the US you are able to skip the year wait if, and only if, an immediate family member won't be able to attend the sealing.  It's not good enough, but it's a step.  


Since I have left the church I have felt the sting of exclusion.  I have been excluded from family members weddings for Melissa's siblings and cousins.  I have been asked to help with receptions (I have an extensive background in food service), but have been excluded from the weddings as they took place in the temple.  I helped because I love people.  I helped for the same reason that my wife's aunt has shown up to all of her nieces and nephews temple weddings.  She loves and supports her family.  I love and support my family, even when they are not my blood family.  While I would give this support again, I do have some suggestions for the members of the church looking to get married.  

Your sealing is vastly more important than a wedding.  It is not the same as a wedding.  As a member of the church you must realize this difference.  You must understand that your sealing is an important life event, vastly more important than getting married.  If you want proof of this just read the most recent statements about the policy change. To exclude your family from a life event that you do not need to is a little cruel.  Can I say that?  Yes, I can.  I am guilty of having been cruel.  I'm sure most members of the church come from the same situation as myself.  They weren't presented a different option and didn't take the time to think about the situation.  

If you are a member of the LDS church, reading this, and are planning to get married soon, I urge you to not exclude your family or other people you love from your wedding.  Your sealing is so much more important that the seemingly simple act of getting married.  Include your parents.  Include your aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, or your best friend that isn't a member of your church.  Hold a ceremony outside the temple.  The people you know and love are important.  It's time to show them that they are important by doing things in a way that tells them they are important.  There is no shame in getting married and having to wait any amount of time to be sealed.  

Preventing Injury

When somebody recovers from an illness that commonly destroys life people say praise God, thank God, or hallelujah praise the Lord.  If you point out that a god could have prevented it in the first place they say no, you had to go through it to learn something, we are subject to a mortal existence, or something like that. It's a common answer among Christians.

Here is what I say. I'm not a parent. However, most people I know are. I am an uncle and I have cared for my nieces and nephews. As a parent do you lock up or put in a safe position any poisons in your home? Do you try to prevent your child from physical hardship? They must go through some, but you probably try to prevent the worst hardships.  Do you purposefully put sharp knives on the floor or edge of the counter? Do you continuously let your kids sit in their dirty diapers until they are sick?

If you do things that you can that are meant to prevent injury or death of your child, why do you do so? Do you try to prevent as much injury as you can. Most people would do all they can to keep their kids safe. You are not a god, but you love your child enough to prevent injury any time you can. Either you should follow God's example and let your kids go through deadly scenarios and take the praise when they don’t die, or keep being better than your god.

Shenanigans

        Imagine you have two great friends. They are both fairly powerful and recognized. Both have the ability to make or break you. You are great friends with both of them. You do amazing actions with both. You save lives, help people out of the gutter, stop violent crimes, end crime spies of violent criminals, and on, and on, and on. The first claims, constantly, to love you. The second never says he cares for you, but is always trying to make sure things work or for you. At some point a thing happens. Let's call it shenanigans. The middle result is that you end up planning a severe betrayal of the two powerful friends. Let's explore what happens with the two scenarios. For the first friend your betrayal would be a harsh betrayal. It would cause massive upheaval in your life. It would cause some of his other associates to stop associating with him. This would cause him to lose influence and power, but really wouldn't actually cause any harm. In the end he wouldn't end up in worse shape. However, you would be hurt by the betrayal as you would no longer have that connection. You would lose many of the connections you had made with him. It would cause a major change in your life. In the end you end up losing far more than him. For the other friend your planned betrayal could, and most likely would, result in both of your deaths. It is a harsh betrayal. If the friend didn't end up dead he would end up alone without any recourse. There would be nothing he could do to get out of the situation, and you would be stuck with him until you do die, or somebody happens to find you, barely hanging on to life. Both friends find out about your plans. They create a way to see how this plays out in your mind. You believe that the events are actually happening. Let's call it a joint dream sequence. They each get to see what would happen and you all will retain a memory of the sequence. Both will have a chance to confront you about the sequences. Lets see the end results. The first friend doesn't say anything to you about it. He goes on with his life and stops all communication with you. When you inquire about this he blames it on you, saying you ended the relationship. He tells you that you betrayed his trust. You caused others to not feel as highly of him as they once did. He had set up a pension for you, but now you've lost the pension he was holding for you. He tells you that you have chosen what happens next. He decides to put out a hit on you, deciding your life is now forfeit, and you will die for this intended betrayal. The death is quickly carried out. It is painful and while quickly carried out, is a slow, long, and painful death. Remember, this betrayal doesn't really impact him much, but it does cause you numerous problems, resulting in your death. Now let's review the second friend. Your betrayal involved you trying to convince him to do something that you wanted him to do, but thought he may not do. You betrayed him to try to convince him to do this favor for you. After the dream sequence he confronts you and you crumple. You tell him you are not sorry because this favor you were planning to request could have saved the life of another close friend. He agrees to help you. You ask him “You're going to help me?” He replies “Well, why wouldn't I help you?” You respond “Because of what I just did, I just…”. He interrupts, saying “You betrayed me. You betrayed my trust. You betrayed our friendship. You betrayed everything... you let me down!” You ask “Then why are you helping me?” He responds “Why? Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?” He then proceeds to help you and doesn't stop caring for you. Let's compare the two. In the first scenario your friend really wasn't impacted much. Others were, you were, but he really wouldn't have been hurt, even if it had been more than just a thought. Even so, for your planned betrayal he commands your demise and death. The second friend stood to lose so much more. Yet, even after that he still helps you. He cares for you so much that regardless of the fact that you planned on betraying him, possibly causing his death, and as far as the sequence is concerned, did, he still cares for you and is willing to help you. Which friend would you pick to keep as a friend? Which one actually loves you most? I know who I would pick. I think most people would pick the second friend. So let's see these theoretical situations in a way that is close to real life. Friend 2 is from Doctor Who, season 8 episode 11. It's the Doctor (portrayed by Peter Capaldi) and Clara. It may not be real, but it's great. The possibility of such a friend is amazing to consider. Believing in that type of love is amazing. Acting with that type of love is fantastic. I recommend watching the episode (and the entire series). The first friend is Yahweh, also known as El, God, or Jesus of Nazareth. Don't believe me? He gave a commandment to kill anybody that left the Yahweh cult. Just read your scriptures, specifically the old testament, Exodus. Do you think that is just how he dealt with people in the Old Testament? Well, read your New Testament. If you don't accept Christ, or deny him, you will suffer a terrible condemnation for eternity. If you accept Christ, and then turn away, you will suffer an even worse fate resulting in some sort of eternal torture. Which character shows more love? Which one would you rather spend time with? Which one is worth your time? Which one shows the most love? I would rather have the Doctor as a friend, and be that type of friend, than be like the Christian god.

The Character of God

I was reading the other day.  I came across a very interesting article.  Be warned that upon reading it your skin may crawl.  In fact, it should crawl. Read and research at your own risk, but this information should be read and known.  You can find the article hear.  If you want to research it more, click here.  Go ahead and give the article in the link a read, and then come back here.  Go ahead and read it. You don’t need to do any additional research, but read the article.  

If you have any kind of moral thought process you should realize what is wrong with the normalization of Minor Attracted Persons, now known as MAP’s.  These people never learned to focus on people that are their own age or so. They never matured enough to realize they need to be interested in people of at least  a mature enough age to have a chance of knowing what they are getting into. Maybe there is a chemical difference that prevents them from doing this. Even if there is, it should not be normalized.  Is this an opinion, yes, it is. Can somebody argue this point? Yes, they can. You be the judge.

However, before you make any decisions on this, you should also realize that MAP’s were perfectly acceptable, and commanded, in The Holy Bible, The Torah, The Talmud, The Quran, and mainly, The Old Testament.  This will now be known as The Bronze and Iron Age Middle-Eastern Goat Herders Guide to The Galaxy, or TBAIAMEGHGTTG, or The Goat Herders Guide.

Don't believe me? Read it for yourself. Here's an example from the modern day, in a land where people still live according to their version of The Goat Herders Guide.  You may say that this does not represent your morals, or this is just in that barbaric region. Well, read the article, and then read it in your bible. Here's a link the the King James translation,  and then one to a more modern translation.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/deut/22?verse=28&lang=eng#p28

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+22%3A28-29&version=NIV

According to this you can rape somebody and force them to marry you by paying the girls father.  It’s not talking about rape, you say? Read it again. It says “and lay hold on her”. That’s pretty telling.  You don’t have to lay hold on somebody that, when asked if they want to have sex, says “YES PLEASE!”. You may hold them, but you don’t lay hold on them.  That’s why the NIV, and many other translations, and rabbinic interpretations, state it is rape. Sure the law wasn't always used this way. Sure, kids got excited and had premarital sex, and this was a way to get out of being stoned to death for it. But I guarantee this was used to get the girl that you otherwise couldn't get.  Regardless of how it is used it is immoral to force the victim of a rape to marry her rapist.

If you are LDS, or have studied Mormonism, please keep in mind that this, the law of Moses, is the lesser law.  Although it is a lesser law, anybody that, at that time, lived it, would not be denied entrance to the celestial kingdom.  That was the only law they had. To deny them entrance to the Celestial Kingdom because they did not live a law you didn’t give them would be sadistic and narcissistic.  How so? The first four commandments they were given were to glorify God. He left out “Don’t commit rape and don’t own slaves, but said worship me”. It would bring him pleasure to deny people entrance to his kingdom due to not obeying a law that wasn’t given.  

It may be said by some that this is just God’s dealings with a people that didn’t fully accept him, or that weren’t sufficiently righteous to receive the fullness of his plan.  However these were his chosen people. These were the people he chose to be a banner to the world. He said that his banner men can rape a female, not be punished, and force their victims to marry them.  

What does this have to do with MAP’s?  Well, I was just getting you introduced to bits of the bible you may not have realized exist, or may not have thought about them enough, as I hadn’t. Here is a chapter telling the Israelites to kill the men and women, but to take the virgins, regardless of age, as their own. Read the entire chapter to make sure you get the context, and read verses 15 to 18 multiple times, and let it sink in.  If you want to read it in plain English, you can do so here.

First let’s establish who was who, and who the virgin’s were.  Infant sons, young sons, any son, from unborn to father, dead. This is barbaric, but go ahead and call it godly.  The virgins were not mother’s. So, all mother’s regardless of what they did or did not believe, pregnant or not, dead.  Now, you are down to all of the women that do not have children. Specifically, they are down to the ‘women children’.

If you want some additional information on the next part, please read Deuteronomy 22, or here. Now, they took a gynecologist, or whatever they called the position, or 10 of them, and had them check for the tokens of virginity, aka, the presence of a hymen.  So here is the priest, checking for the hymen: “ Hymen so slave,hymen so slave, no hymen so death, hymen so slave, no hymen so death…..” There is only one reason to keep the virgins. To make them your maids, or a part of your harem. Look up what a maid is at that time.  Why keep the virgins, and only the virgins? They do not have STD’s. In the prior chapter, verses 10-14, you can read how, if you see a beautiful woman amongst the captives, you can marry her, even though she worships another god (which is the reason for killing everybody, so they can’t teach the Israelites to worship false gods).  

Does this not sound like a nazi death camp? There may not have been a gas chamber, but there was a sword or slavery. As a ‘woman child’ you may not have been able to choose death, but you could be forced into slavery, including becoming a sex slave.  Why? The men of the age loved having sex with young, pretty, and clean (STD free) women children. This wasn’t just an Israeli thing. It was common place amongst most middle eastern tribes.

So, now that you can see this MAP normalcy is biblical, I’d like you to think about it in light of modern day revelation.  Think about situations that have happened in our time. Apply this to stories you have heard in your lifetime. I say stories, but these are people, people with lives.  People that are loved by somebody, and that love somebody, and are important in one way or another. Let's look at the story of one Elizabeth Smart.

Brian David Mitchell did this to Elizabeth Smart when she was a young teen. He took her, married her, raped her, raped her, tortured her,  and made her his to keep. He was simply following ancient law. Just think if that law were still in place today. Elizabeth is found, alive, and all the creep has to do is pay Elizabeth's dad some money because she is defiled and not worth as much as she could have been. He humbled her so she is now worthless (as she could now have an STD or isn’t a virgin).

Fortunately Christianity and Judaism have left this barbaric and morally wrong life behind. You can call this wrong all you want. However, if you adhere to an Abrahamic religion you follow a religion that has a deity that at one time condoned this. It didn't become socially wrong until humans said it was wrong.  It doesn’t become wrong in barbaric areas of the world until enough people say it is wrong. If you are of the LDS flavor of Christianity remember, this is considered the lesser law, a law that can get you into the Celestial kingdom, and at least into the Telestial kingdom.

Now consider the time after judgement.  Brian David Mitchell repents while on the earth and goes to the Celestial kingdom. He goes to his "mansion", and who is next door?  Well, it's Elizabeth Smart on one side, and her father on the other.

Now, I get it, Christ's atonement heals people. However, think this through.  Just think of the first conversation they have. It would be horrific. Just terrible. "Hey Elizabeth, I know I repeatedly raped you, and kept you as a slave, and threatened to kill you, and threatened to kill your sister, and family,  but as you know I asked you to forgive me, and repented. Now I'm here, living next to you. Small world, eh?" Elizabeth responds "It's OK, I was healed by the atonement, and forgave you. Let's be great neighbors!" Can you see yourself saying that? I can't. Oh,  but God works in mysterious ways. Well that's pretty stinking mysterious.

In Alma 14:11 Alma taught Amulek that God allows the wicked to do wicked things so that his judgements against them may be just.  So these people can’t repent? If you think this story from Alma is only about killing people do some reading.  

I could not possibly tell Elizabeth, or any other that has suffered similarly, that their suffering is OK because now God’s judgement will be just.  It is not OK that they suffered. It is wrong that they suffer, and even more wrong to tell them it’s ok.

Gordon B Hinckley and other prophets would tell you that it’s a part of the past, a little flick, and we shouldn’t concern ourselves with it.  We should look forward. This is wrong. If this is true, then it is bad to look at any bad part of any past. Write out of the history books the entirety of World War 2.  Remove the travesties committed against the slaves in the US. Don’t tell people about the “Extermination Order”. The Nazi party gives people purpose and drive, don’t stifle it by looking at the flicks of it’s past.    

The character of God is often said to be love.  But it is not.  The Character of God is so much more than just love.  I'm freeing myself from years of brainwashing. I'm seeing the world through a new light. I'm seeing just how precious the miracle of life is.  I see just how important my relationships are. I get one shot, that's it. Make it count. Do I hope there is more to life after this? Yes, I do. Do I know what it holds? No. Could this be the only life we have?  Yes, so make it good.

On another not so sad note, the story of the girl in Afghanistan (from a prior post) has a slightly better result than the original article suggests.